My First R-Rated Movie

MY FIRST R-RATED MOVIE OR…
HOW I BECAME THE 007 OF COVERT FORBIDDEN FILM VIEWING
By Alex Simon

For those of us who grew up in the suburbs in the pre-home video, pre-Internet and pre-cable TV 1970s and early ‘80s, there were few dangerous pleasures as heady as sneaking into an R-rated movie at the local multiplex. The multiplex cinema was a ‘70s phenomenon that made regulating children’s viewing habits infinitely more difficult than the old days of stand-alone, single screen theaters. Ironically, the new freedom that filmmakers enjoyed with the advent of the MPAA rating system in late 1968 was almost in perfect synch with the rise of multi-screen cinemas. Some things do happen for a reason.

You never forget your first...

My first R-rated film was during Thanksgiving of 1976. We were visiting my dad’s family in Birmingham, Alabama and the men adjourned after dinner to go see TWO MINUTE WARNING, a Charlton Heston-led, all-star splatter fest boasting an impressive cast (John Cassavetes, Gena Rowlands, and Martin Balsam, to name a few) about a psycho with a scoped .306 rifle picking off sports fans at an LA Rams game. Even at age nine, I knew the movie sucked, but I was quite thrilled to be watching bare breasts, geysers of spurting blood, and liberal use of the f-bomb, feeling the kind of euphoria that can only be found in nibbling on previously forbidden fruit. I also noticed something else: there was little, if any, usher presence regulating who went into the theater playing the R-rated film. On the screen next door was Martin Ritt and Woody Allen’s PG-rated (and far superior) offering THE FRONT. My 108 month-old synapses starting firing.

The following years found numerous R-rated fare that I yearned to see: MARATHON MAN, BLACK SUNDAY, TAXI DRIVER, WHICH WAY IS UP?, and most significantly Louis Malle’s PRETTY BABY, which ushered in my pre-adolescent Brooke Shields fixation. So determined was I to see this movie that I spent weeks devising a careful plan to gain admittance for myself and my more adventurous friends. Upon opening the Friday paper one afternoon, it seemed as though lady luck had smiled upon me: PRETTY BABY was in a double-bill with KING OF THE GYPSIES, my virtual girlfriend’s latest cinematic outing, playing newcomer Eric Roberts’ younger sister (if Brooke only knew what a coveted part that would become in reality years later). It was showing at the UA 5 Theater in Scottsdale. In those days, it was a safe bet that a film would play at least 2-3 weeks, so I convinced my parents to drop me and my best bud at the theater two weekends in a row, to cover all the PG fare and case the joint, to find the weak link into the Shangri-La showing on screen number three (for the curious, some of the unfortunate ‘70s fare we saw included SLOW DANCING IN THE BIG CITY, CARAVANS, and DEATH ON THE NILE. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of ‘70s movies sucked, kids).



After careful deliberation, my friend and I thought we’d discovered an opening: at around 3 PM every Saturday and Sunday, the two shaggy-haired ushers would disappear from the lobby for 15-20 minutes. There was a PRETTY BABY showing that began at 3:15, and a 3 PM show of the PG-rated A BRIDGE TOO FAR. Simple math, or so we thought…

The fateful Sunday came. My buddy’s mom dropped the two of us off at the UA 5, where we got our BRIDGE TOO FAR tickets for a whopping two bucks apiece. Upon entering the theater’s semi-circular lobby with the color-coded doors (red, yellow, green, blue and orange) we scanned the area and saw nary an usher in sight. Just to be safe, we got popcorn and Cokes, and then calmly walked the long mile to cinema 3, the blue door.

There were many thoughts and emotions running through my head as we walked, not to mention more intense physiological happenings occurring in the pit of my stomach, spreading like a wave through my body. My forehead broke out with beads of sweat, my mouth grew dry, my palms clammy. What really lay beyond that blue door? Would I find the secret that lay behind my nightly dreams of the lovely Miss Shields or perhaps something bigger? Maybe the answers to all the riddles of life lay not only in the movies, but more specifically in R-rated movies? Could it be…salvation? That was it. Salvation lay beyond that blue door, and my hand was now on its handle.


"Pretty baby/Ma petite ingénue."

“Hold it right there, scumbag!” the voice rang out. A hand clamped down on my shoulder. My buddy turned to me, face ashen. The other usher approached us, nodding to his friend. “What’s this?” His friend responded: “Caught ‘em trying to sneak into the R-rated movie.” “Whoa. Bad move, boys.” Sandwiched between the two hulking teens, I was overwhelmed by “a strong, sweet smell of incense” floating off them both like steam. Five years or so later when I was introduced to the giddy pleasures of cannabis, the question in my sense memory finally made sense but in early 1978, they just smelled funny, in addition to being total assholes.

We were not-so-gently ejected by these two 18 year-old virgins and told never to return.

My game, I’m happy to say, got much better after that humiliating maiden voyage. The Fall of 1978 brought my neighborhood a much-needed local theater that we kids could walk or bike to, happily taking our parents and their cars out of the equation. The Lakes 6 theater was one of AMC’s flagships, with a half-dozen screens shaped like bowling alleys housed in an equally oblong, rectangular building with its center section containing box office, concession stand and usher area. This made the Lakes 6 blissfully ripe for sneaking and hopping from R-rated gem to gem. It was such a cakewalk, in fact, that not only did my friends and I never once get caught, but the kids who manned the box office and ticket-tearing duties knew that trying to enforce the MPAA’s censorship dictates was absolutely useless given the building’s architecture.


"The Exorcist" left scars on my 11 year-old frontal lobe.


THE DEER HUNTER, MIDNIGHT EXPRESS, APOCALYPSE NOW, THE BOYS IN COMPANY C, and RAGING BULL were just a smattering of the great films that rocked my pre-pubescent body and soul during these heady days, a highlight being the ’78 re-release of William Friedkin’s THE EXORCIST, when my two Irish Catholic altar boy buddies and I (an agnostic half-Jew, which perhaps accounts for my initially-brave face) bought tickets for ROCKY II, but sidled into the hard-R horror classic next door instead. Our tough facades quickly melted as the movie progressed, with Tommy Kehoe running out of the theater during Linda Blair’s notorious intimate encounter with a Crucifix. No one saw Tommy for ten days after, and there is still speculation to this day as to where he disappeared to, although one hopes it wasn’t too far south of the material plane. My other friend (whose name is lost to time) and I bravely kept our game faces on for the rest of the movie, but didn’t speak a word to each other during the bike ride home, and never again spoke of the traumatic cinematic experience we shared. My fifth night or so of fitful sleep afterward, I began to think, for the first time, “Gee, maybe they’re onto something with this rating system. What the hell was I doing watching that movie?” Years later, when I interviewed William Friedkin and told him I’d snuck into both THE EXORCIST and CRUISING, he responded that I owed him six dollars. I replied that he owed me thousands from all the therapy I needed after recklessly exposing my delicate psyche to two pictures no kid should ever watch. Friedkin agreed to drop his claim if I would.

"Taxi Driver": Childhood's end.


When TAXI DRIVER came to Tempe’s venerable Valley Art Theater on Mill Avenue, one of two second-run/arthouse screens in Phoenix along with the long-gone and greatly missed landmark the Sombrero Playhouse, my dad took me for my 13th birthday. As I sat through Martin Scorsese’s visceral masterpiece without flinching and showed no signs of PTSD afterward, my parents’ selective censorship of R-rated fare suddenly disappeared, and from 1980 onward, they took me to pretty much any film I wanted to see. That, coupled with the fact that by freshman year in high school I’d grown to over six feet in height, I was able to buy my own damn R-rated tickets from then on, without ever getting carded. With that new-found freedom, however, much of the joy that came from viewing technically-forbidden fruit vanished. No longer when I entered a cinema showing an R-rated film did I get that giddy/frightened/euphoric burning that started in my gut and spread like a wave through every molecule in my body. I was going to the movies, so there was the joy and excitement that I feel to this day when the lights go down and I ready myself for one of the few communal experiences left in society, but that’s all it was. Going to the movies. Before I knew it, I stopped looking at what a movie’s rating was, and just went to the ones that sparked my interest. There was however, a final exception in 1983, when I was sixteen.

There is something you have to understand about Phoenix in the dark days before the Internet: it had something of a coolness embargo foisted upon it. In other words, a cutting edge film, piece of music, or even book release might hit the left and right coasts in the Fall of 1980, along with releases in major markets such as Chicago and Dallas, or high-end niche locales such as Ann-Arbor or Austin, but in Phoenix, you’d be lucky if that high-end item reached us by 1982 or ’83. Such was the case with Tinto Brass’ notorious CALIGULA. Correctly described by one critic as “A train wreck of a film that looks as if it were made by Cecil B. DeMille gone psycho,” CALIGULA was a multi-million dollar pornographic epic that purported to tell the true story of the debauched Roman emperor who was utterly insane. It also featured an A-list cast, including Malcolm McDowell, John Gielgud, Peter O’Toole and Helen Mirren. Rated X? Hell, it was so far beyond X or even XXX they couldn’t even come up with a rating for it, so it was one of the first releases to go out without an MPAA seal or rating on it. It was playing at the Valley Art for a week-long engagement. My buddies and I, with freshly-minted driver’s licenses, decided to go for it. That burning feeling in the pit of my stomach was back!

Above, The Valley Art, circa mid-1960s. Below, as it appears today.




The Valley Art was Arizona’s oldest continuously-operating theater, and in the early ‘80s was run by aging hippies who’d arrived on Tempe's Mill Avenue between 1968 and 1970, and hadn’t moved, either physically or temporally. They didn’t really give a shit who went to the movies there, so long as you paid your three bucks admission so they could keep buying cheap weed and some hot wings from Long Wong’s down the street. As we approached the box office, we saw an anomaly for the uber-liberal Valley Art: a hand-printed “Adults Only” sign in black, block letters, Scotch-taped to the inside of the box office window. We halted in our tracks. The groovy dude inside the glass booth saw our hesitation, smiled, and beckoned us forward. Looking us over, he inquired “You guys twenty-one?” The three of us exchanged hasty glances, gulped in synch, and replied “Yeah. Sure” (None of us were even shaving yet). The hippie dude smiled, looked us over once more and said “Right on. Enjoy gentlemen.” We got our tickets and went inside. The theater was packed. By the film’s mid-point, half the audience had walked, most in disgust, muttering to themselves. The week-long engagement ended two days later, after vigorous protests from pillars of the community. This was Arizona, remember, and then as now, “progressive” was not the dominant vibe.

Malcolm McDowell as "Caligula." End of the road.


After seeing our first, official (sort of) X-rated film in a theater, my friends and I made our way to the equally venerable Chuckbox burger factory, and mulled over the fact that our days of pushing the cinematic censorship envelope had officially come to an end, and with a regrettably crappy movie, to boot. And after years of sneaking into “verboten” cinematic fare, to paraphrase George Carlin, none of us were inflicted with rotting of the soul, curvature of the spine, or a sudden desire to overthrow the government. For God’s sake, they were just movies. What was the big deal, after all?

Indeed. Or not.

I did finally see PRETTY BABY, on VHS, around the same time I saw CALIGULA. I thought, and still think, it’s a brilliant film. And with each successive viewing as time has progressed, I find it more unsettling, and not the least bit titillating, which is how I’m sure Louis Malle intended it. By 1983, my attentions had moved onto real girls in my orbit, as opposed to the lovely, unattainable Brooke Shields. I wasn’t any more successful with most of them than I had been in sneaking in to see Brooke au naturale all those years ago. But just to show what little sponges we are at that age, I did have an opportunity to meet Miss Shields at a party years later, standing a mere few feet from her and making eye contact. I froze like a star-struck 11 year-old and couldn’t budge, while my friend chatted up Brooke and her gal pal, and got the gal pal’s number. Awkwardness dies hard.

I often wonder what became of those two spotty, stoned teenage ushers who threw my friend and I out of the UA 5 (another theater long-gone), who unwittingly whetted my appetite for R-rated covert action. I’ll quote a not-so-beloved slasher movie satire called STUDENT BODIES, which came out around 1981. In the middle of the not-so-hilarious high-jinks was this gem: a stern-looking gent in a gray suit, seated behind an impressive desk, suddenly appeared on-screen, with the following message: “Ladies and gentlemen, in order to achieve an "R" rating today, a motion picture must contain full frontal nudity, graphic violence, or an explicit reference to the sex act. Since this film has none of those, and since research has proven that R-rated films are by far the most popular with the moviegoing public, the producers of this motion picture have asked me to take this opportunity to say ‘Fuck you.’”

Indeed.

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Stanley Kubrick Bloopers

Hilarious cartoon from animator Dan Meth. We're sure Stanley Kubrick would have approved!

Courtesy Entertainment

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THE MYSTERY OF THE LEAPING FISH--A pro-drug romp from 1916, starring Douglas Fairbanks!

1970s-era midnight movie poster for The Mystery of the Leaping Fish.

The Mystery of the Leaping Fish (1916) is a short film starring Douglas Fairbanks and Bessie Love. In this unusually broad comedy for Fairbanks, the acrobatic leading man plays "Coke Ennyday," a cocaine-shooting detective parody of Sherlock Holmes given to injecting himself with cocaine from a bandolier of syringes worn across his chest and liberally helping himself to the contents of a hatbox-sized round container of white powder labeled "COCAINE" on his desk.

The movie, written by D.W. Griffith, Tod Browning, and Anita Loos, displays a surreally lighthearted attitude toward cocaine and opium. Fairbanks otherwise lampoons Sherlock Holmes with checkered detective hat, coat, and even car, along with the aforementioned propensity for injecting cocaine whenever he feels momentarily down, then laughing with delight. In addition to observing visitors at his door on what appears to be a closed-circuit television referred to in the title cards as his "scientific periscope," a clock-like sign on the wall reminds him to choose between "EATS, DRINKS, SLEEPS, and DOPE".

Banned in Boston and other cities upon its initial release in 1916, just two years after cocaine was made illegal in the U.S., Fairbanks later disowned the picture, although it resurfaced in the late '60s and 1970s during the midnight movie craze, usually on a double bill with Reefer Madness (1936) or other vintage anti-drug propaganda films, that then (as now) played as high camp. It certainly proves that there were no "innocent" times in Hollywood, particularly not in its early years. More strange than funny. More eerie and even disturbing, than nostalgic. This film is a unique work in every sense.

The Museum of Modern Art in New York City screened a restored 35mm print of the film on January 10, 2009 where, according to people who attended, that very sophisticated audience was left with their jaws hanging open by the film's end. Judge for yourself...

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DVD Playhouse--October 2011

DVD PLAYHOUSE—OCTOBER 2011
By Allen Gardner

TERRI (20th Century Fox) An awkward, obese teen (Jacob Wysocki) finds himself forming an odd friendship with his equally left-of-center vice-principal (John C. Reilly), who decides to help the boy navigate his way through adolescence’s rocky road. Low key film is filled with pathos and humor, but is ultimately too laid back for its own good (not to mention too long). Worth seeing for young Wysocki’s amazing, completely natural performance, and Reilly’s goofy charm. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurette; Deleted scenes. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
MR. NICE (MPI) Rhys Ifans stars in the true story of Howard Marks, a Welsh-born Oxford grad who gained the most notoriety in his life for being the UK’s biggest hashish smuggler during the ‘70s and ‘80s, when he wasn’t busy spying for Her Majesty’s government, hanging out with a psychotic pal (David Thewlis) from the IRA, and finally doing a long stint in prison to do penance for his colorful life. Ifans gives a tour-de-force performance, with fine support from Chloe Sevigny and Crispin Glover. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurette; Trailer. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
THE TRIP (IFC Films) Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon play, more or less, themselves, taking a trip to the north of England to dine in some fine restaurants and stay in the region’s best B&Bs. Along the way, they have a series of comic duels with some priceless moments (their Michael Caine-off being a highlight), with Coogan bravely playing himself in a most unflattering light. Best described as My Dinner With Andre On the Road, and for most of the journey, it’s quite enjoyable, but would have been even better at about 90 minutes. Another quirky gem from director Michael Winterbottom. Bonuses: Trailer; Featurettes; Deleted scenes. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
WE ARE THE NIGHT (IFC Films) A troubled girl (Karoline Herfurth) is brought into the fold of a sexy cabal of female vampires (Nina Hoss, Jennifer Ulrich, Anna Fischer), and soon finds herself wreaking gleeful havoc all over Berlin. Stylish, scary and quite erotic little gem from director Dennis Gansel, who manages to put a fresh spin on the now-stale vampire genre. Bonuses: Trailer; Interviews; Featurette. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
THE SILENT HOUSE (LA CASA MUDA) (IFC Films) Nifty little horror exercise, based on a true story that supposedly happened in Uruguay during the 1940s. When a teenage girl and her father travel to an isolated house in the country, they find the house to be not only in disrepair, but a force is inside it that is very much alive—and wants them dead. Shot in one continuous 78 minute take, the filmmakers show great skill in the execution of the film’s technical side, although the script and dialogue (perhaps the subtitle translation) feels rather half-baked at times. Still, worth seeing. Bonuses: Trailer. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
THE PHANTOM CARRIAGE (Criterion) Victor Sjostrom’s silent classic from 1921 tells the very grim fairy tale of the last person who dies on New Year’s Eve before the clock strikes twelve, and is then forced to be the driver of Death’s chariot, tirelessly collecting souls for the next year. Sjostrom himself stars as a ne’er-do-well louse who is shown the error of his ways, Dickens-style, and is offered a shot at redemption through the unconditional love of a Salvation Army sister. One of silent cinema’s most innovative films, which influenced countless directors, including Ingmar Bergman, to step behind the camera. Groundbreaking special effects and hand-tinted color sequences are stunning nearly a century later. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Two musical scores; Commentary by film historian Casper Tybjerg; 1981 interview with Bergman; Visual essay by Peter Cowie. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 2.0
THE STOOL PIGEON (Well Go USA) Tough Hong Kong policier about a detective (Nick Leung) who causes his snitch to be gravely wounded. Starting from scratch, he must recruit a new man to go undercover in a ruthless gang of jewel thieves. Gritty look at honor among cops and thieves alike, and the fragile code that holds their tenuous relationships together. Well-directed by HK vet Dante Lam. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Deleted scenes; Featurettes; Trailers. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
THE LAST CIRCUS (Magnolia) Twisted love triangle between a Sad Clown, a Happy Clown, and a beautiful acrobat in what must be the most bizarre circus since Tod Browning’s classic Freaks. Told with great style and wild abandon by director Alex De La Iglesia, it’s grand guignol meets David Lynch of the highest order. Cult status is almost assured for this beautifully-crafted shocker. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurettes; Trailers and teasers. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
GREEN LANTERN—EXTENDED CUT (Warner Bros.) A human (Ryan Reynolds) is recruited by an elite forces of intergalactic protectors called the Green Lantern Corps to help protect the Earth and the universe from the evil villain Parallax. DC Comics’ venerable character (who dates to WW II) is brought to shaky life in this CGI misfire, with what has to be the ugliest special effects and production design to date from a major studio release. Reynolds is always a likeable presence, but even his easy-going charisma can’t save this dud. Supporting cast includes Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Angela Bassett and Tim Robbins. And yes, the movie STILL sucks! Directed by Martin (Casino Royale) Campbell. Ditto. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurettes; Picture-in-picture commentary; Photo and storyboard galleries; Digital comic; Deleted scenes; Trailers and TV spots; 9 minutes of extra footage in extended version. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
CARLOS (Criterion) Olivier Assayas’ sprawling epic about the life and times of infamous terrorist Ilich Ramirez Sanchez aka “Carlos the Jackal,” whose violent left-wing activism in the ‘70s and ‘80s made him one of the world’s most wanted men. Edgar Ramirez is a powerhouse in the titular role, infusing Carlos with a fiery blend of idealism, charisma and undiluted narcissism that ultimately causes him to self-immolate. 5 ½ hour epic is never boring, and moves at lightning pace. A truly magnificent cinematic achievement. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Interviews with cast and crew; Select scene commentary; Featurettes and documentaries; Trailer; Booklet featuring essays by critics and scholars, as well as a timeline of Carlos’ life. Widescreen Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
TEMPEST (Touchstone/Miramax) Modern retelling of William Shakespeare’s final play stars Helen Mirren, Russell Brand, Alfred Molina, Chris Cooper, Tom Conti, Alan Cumming, Djimon Honsou, David Straithairn, and Felicity Jones, among others. Exiled to a magical island, the sorceress Prospera (Mirren) conjures up a storm that shipwrecks her enemies and unleashes her powers for revenge. Helmed by the great Julie Taymor (whose film adaptation of Titus was one of the best Shakespeare-to-celluloid efforts), the film is a gorgeous, moving spectacle acted by a stellar cast who bring the Bard’s words vividly to life. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurettes; Documentary; Commentary by Taymor; Music video. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
A QUIET PLACE IN THE COUNTRY (MGM/Fox) Franco Nero plays an artist who moves into an isolated country villa, hoping he’ll be able to focus more on his work, with occasional time-outs for trysts with his matron/lover (Vanessa Redgrave). He soon discovers the house is haunted by the spirit of a young woman who was brutally murdered during WW II. Definitely a film of its time (1968), with director Elio Petri (The 10th Victim, Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion) dishing out a host of psychedelic and metaphorical images, which ultimately obscure what little plot there is. Not always coherent, but never boring, and beautiful to look at. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
HICKEY & BOGGS (MGM/Fox) Bill Cosby and Robert Culp, who also directed, star in this Walter Hill-scripted tale about two L.A. private eyes investigating the case of a missing girl, and quickly find themselves in over their heads, bringing death to everyone around them, intentionally or otherwise. Downbeat to a fault and relentlessly brutal (but was able to secure a PG-rating in 1972), but also ultra-realistic in its cinema-verite style, a refreshing change from today’s action films, most of which look and feel like mouthwash ads with bullets. Fine supporting cast includes James Woods, Ed Lauter, Michael Moriarity and Vincent Gardenia. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
THE GLORY STOMPERS (MGM/Fox) Dennis Hopper, two years prior to Easy Rider, stars as the leader of a vicious biker gang who steals the girlfriend of his rival, prompting an all-out war between the two factions. Almost Showgirls-level bad, with dialogue that must’ve been hard to type, much less speak (Hopper says “man” more than Al Pacino says “fuck” in Scarface), but of note as a time capsule piece, and also as the film that convinced Hopper to make a “realistic” biker picture along with buddy Peter Fonda (who had to do penance for his own biker turkey, The Wild Angels, released the same year). Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
MIMIC THE DIRECTOR’S CUT (Miramax) Guillermo Del Toro’s first American effort is a nifty biological thriller about a team of scientists (Mira Sorvino, Charles S. Dutton, Josh Brolin) who create a breed of insect to wipe out a deadly strain of cockroaches. Three years later—their solution gets out of hand. Like most of Del Toro’s films, this is inventive, stunning, and purely cinematic entertainment, although the final third does lose some steam. Still, a must-see film from a master of the cinema. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Commentary by Del Toro; Featurettes; Deleted scenes; Storyboards; Gag reel; Trailer; Seven minutes of extra footage. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 and DTS-HD 7.1 surround.
MOBY DICK (RHI) Herman Melville’s classic novel gets an update with this made for cable production, with William Hurt filling the boots of Captain Ahab, a seafaring man obsessed with killing an elusive and deadly albino whale, even at the cost of his ship and the lives of his crew. Ethan Hawke, Donald Sutherland, and Gillian Anderson co-star in this handsome production, which nearly rivals John Huston’s cinematic classic in its grandeur and scope. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
SUBMARINO (Focus Features) Two brothers from an abusive background, one an ex-con, the other a single father wrestling with demons of his own, struggle to find a way to reconnect and get their lives together. Powerful drama pulls no punches, with helmer Thomas Winterberg (The Celebration) providing more dramatic grit for the dysfunctional family mill. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
THE PRESENCE (Lionsgate) Mira Sorvino stars as a woman who travels to a remote lakeside cabin and soon finds herself stalked by an apparition who grows obsessive of her, particularly with the surprise arrival of her boyfriend. Spare, intelligent supernatural thriller focuses on suspense and what isn’t seen, instead of gore and shock effects. Sorvino is fine, as always, and is supported by a fine cast. Bonuses: Commentary by writer/director Tom Provost; Storyboards; Featurette. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.




DON’T TOUCH THAT DIAL! Mill Creek releases seasons one and two of THAT ‘70S SHOW, the hit series about a groovy family from The Brady Bunch era that wasn’t so clean-cut, but a hell of a lot more fun. Great cast includes Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, Danny Masterson, Wilmer Valderrama, and Kurtwood Smith. 26 and 25 episodes respectively, in each set. Bonuses: Featurettes. Full screen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
The first and second seasons of ROSEANNE also arrive on DVD, with comic Rosanne Barr playing a thinly-veiled portrait of herself as a blue collar mom trying to make ends meet with husband Dan (John Goodman) and their three kids. Winner of multiple Emmys and Golden Globe awards, and one of TV’s classics of the 1990s. Bonuses: Interviews with cast and crew; Featurettes; Highlight reels. Full screen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN’s first two seasons also touch down on DVD this month, featuring John Lithgow, Kristen Johnson, French Stewart, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jane Curtin, and Wayne Knight in this comic farce about an alien nuclear family trying to fit in amongst the denizens of a small Ohio town. Very funny. Bonuses: Interviews with cast and crew; Bloopers; Featurettes. Full screen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
Severin/MPI releases SNUFF BOX: THE COMPLETE SERIES, starring Rich Fulcher and Matt Berry in the legendary BBC series about a pair of depraved hangmen. Sort of a blend of Monty Python and sit-com, with a truly twisted style all its own. One of those rare television shows that must be seen to be believed! Loaded with bonuses, including Featurettes, outtakes, commentary by Berry, Fulcher and director Michael Cumming, as well as a bonus music CD. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
eOne releases CALL ME FITZ: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON, starring Jason Priestly as the sleaziest of used car salesmen who suddenly starts conversing with his inner conscience (Ernie Grunwald), a do-gooder who is intent on healing Fritz’s mangled psyche. Truly original, very clever and extremely funny. Bonuses: Featurettes; Blooper reel; Season 2 sneak peak. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
Warner Bros. releases V: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON, offering more human vs. Visitor action in this slick, exciting update of the hit ‘80s series. Season two focuses on a resistance group called The Fifth Column rising up against the alien invaders. Smart sci-fi, loaded with contemporary social and political metaphors. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurettes; Interviews with cast and crew; Deleted scenes; Blooper reel. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
20th Century Fox releases LIE TO ME: THE COMPLETE THIRD AND FINAL SEASON, starring Tim Roth as the world’s greatest interrogator and truth-finder. Intelligent show with Roth’s multi-layered portrait a standout amongst the mostly-two-dimensional network TV characters these days. Fine support from Kelli Williams, Brendan Hines and Monica Raymond. 13 episodes on 4 discs. A real shame this winner got cancelled! Bonuses: Deleted scenes; Featurette. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
RAISING HOPE: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON is from the mind of “My Name is Earl” creator Greg Garcia, about the pains of parenthood and being part of a dysfunctional family. When 23 year-old Jimmy Chance has a life-altering experience of unexpected fatherhood after a one-night stand, he finds himself a single dad and must juggle all the implications therein. Funny, if not always successful comedy, but worth a look. Cloris Leachman is a hoot! Bonuses: Unaired pilot; Extended cut; Featurettes; Commentary by cast and crew on pilot; Deleted scenes; Gag reel. Widescreen Dolby 5.1 surround.
MODERN FAMILY: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON won six Emmy’s for its smart, sassy brand of comedy that takes a seriocomic look at what it means to be part of a large, extended family in these turbulent times. Terrific cast includes Ed O’Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen and Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurettes; Table read footage; Music video; Interviews with cast and crew. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA: THE COMPLETE SEASON 6 offers more irreverent fun from the gang (Danny De Vito, Kaitlin Olson, Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney) that hangs their hats in the city of brotherly love. Un-PC to the extreme, and very funny as a result. De Vito is always a delight to watch, and he’s at his unhinged best in this TV gem. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Trivia challenge; Featurettes; “Lethal Weapon 5 extended cut”; Blooper reel; Deleted and extended scenes; Audio commentary by cast and crew; Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
GLEE: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON follows New Directions as they try to move on from their devastating loss at Regionals, with the ever-effervescent Sue Snell (Jane Lynch) leading the pack with her own brand of battle cries. Infectious blend of outrageous comedy and music, with loads of guest stars including Carol Burnett, John Stamos, and Kristin Chenoweth adding to the wild proceedings. Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurettes; Bonus song. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: THE COMPLETE SEASON 6 takes up with Ted (Josh Radnor)’s search for the perfect woman while Marshall and Lily (Jason Segel and Alyson Hannigan) are trying to start a family. Meanwhile, Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) tries to locate his biological father and Robin (Cobie Smulders) finally starts to feel like a real New Yorker. Very funny sit-com for smart adults. 24 episodes on 3 discs. Bonuses: Commentary by cast and crew; Featurettes; Deleted scenes; Gag reel. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
PBS releases JANE AUSTEN’S MANSFIELD PARK, a “Masterpiece Theater” production starring Billie Piper as lower class girl Fanny Price who goes to live with posh relatives on their estate, Mansfield Park. Handsome adaptation with a fine cast (Blake Ritson, Jemma Redgrave).
JANE AUSTEN’S NORTHANGER ABBEY is another “Masterpiece Theater” production, beautifully adapting Austen’s classic parody of gothic fiction. Felicity Jones stars as a hopeless romantic who is invited to a medieval country house, where she forms a friendship with the estate’s younger son. Also stars Carey Mulligan, J.J. Field, and William Beck.
EMILY BRONTE’S WUTHERING HEIGHTS is a “Masterpiece Theater” production of Bronte’s classic novel about the fiery romance between Heathcliff (Tom Hardy) and Cathy (Charlotte Riley) in one of literatures most gothic of mansions. Loaded with gorgeous period detail, tangible atmosphere and a fine cast that includes Andrew Lincoln, Sarah Lancashire and Rosalind Halstead. All three are available on Blu-ray disc. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 stereo.
THE COMPLETE INSPECTOR LEWIS offers the original pilot and all four seasons of the acclaimed series starring Kevin Whately and Laurence Fox as no-nonsense police detectives who keep order in the venerable university town of Oxford. Loaded with intricate plots and high-functioning suspects, the pair operate with a combination of intellect and instinct to nab their prey. 20 episodes on four discs. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.




DOCUMENTARY DAYS Magnolia releases PAGE ONE: INSIDE THE NEW YORK TIMES, a warts-and-all look behind the scenes at the nation’s newspaper of record and the men and women who bring it to light daily. Like the best documentarians before him, director Andrew Rossi takes a fly-on-the-wall approach that puts you in the room with the denizens of “The Gray Lady,” and takes the viewer on a voyeuristic journey into the cutthroat world of print journalism, one that becomes threatened daily by the Internet’s gradual take-over of information dispersal. A must-see for any budding journalists! Also available on Blu-ray disc. Bonuses: Featurettes, including interviews with Carl Bernstein, Emily Bell, Sarah Ellison; Additional scenes; Q & A with cast and filmmakers. Widescreen. Dolby and DTS-HD 5.1 surround.
MPI releases BUCK, an in-depth portrait of the man whom Robert Redford based his film The Horse Whisperer on, Buck Brannaman. After overcoming a horrifically abusive childhood, Brannaman devoted himself to a life as a horseman, soon realizing he had a unique gift to literally communicate with the majestic animals. Buck now “helps horses with people problems,” and his techniques with both species must be seen to be believed. A fascinating look at a truly unique free spirit. Bonuses: Trailer; Deleted scenes; Commentary by Buck and the filmmakers. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
A&E releases 2002 WORLD SERIES: ANAHEIM ANGELS COLLECTOR’S EDITION is a seven disc set that contains all seven of the games of the ’02 World Series in which the Anaheim Angels vanquished the San Francisco Giants. A must-own for any die-hard fan of “The Halos.” Special feature allows viewer to watch the video of the games and listen to the audio of the play-by-play radio broadcasts. Also from A&E, ANGELS’ MEMORIES: THE GREATEST MOMENTS IN ANGELS BASEBALL HISTORY, is a terrific compilation of the club’s finest hours, featuring portraits of its greatest players (Rod Carew, Garret Anderson, Tim Salmon, more). Both are Full screen, Dolby 2.0 stereo.
PBS releases THE WAR OF 1812 offers an in-depth look at the last major conflict between the United States and England. Using recreations, simulations, interviews with historians and evocative animation, this is an excellent reference tool for any student of history, formal or otherwise. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 stereo.
ANCIENT MARVELS is a compilation of “Nova” episodes that examine some of the world’s greatest architectural achievements that were erected before modern technology existed that could have brought them to fruition. Examine mysteries such as “Secrets of Stonehenge,” “Riddles of the Sphinx,” “Ghosts of Machu Picchu,” “Secrets of the Parthenon,” and “Secrets of Lost Empires II: Easter Island.” Fascinating and loaded with eye-popping footage of its subjects. 5 disc set. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 stereo.
HOUDINI takes a look at the 20th century’s greatest illusionist and escape artist, who arguably became the first world-wide celebrity at the turn of the last millennium. Narrated by Mandy Patinkin and loaded with archival photos, film footage, and interviews with present-day magicians such as David Copperfield, The Amazing Randi and author E.L. Doctorow. Like its subject, immensely entertaining and fascinating. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 stereo.
ENGINEERING GROUND ZERO is a “Nova” episode that examines the architects, engineers, and workers who are helping to revitalize the area that once held the World Trade Center. Featuring interviews with architect David Childs, executive director of the Port Authority Chris Ward, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Michael Arad, the man behind the breakthrough concept for the 9/11 Memorial. Widescreen. Dolby 2.0 stereo.
Shout Factory releases PETER, PAUL AND MARY: THE HOLIDAY CONCERT, with the New York Choral Society and Orchestra, an annual tradition that began in 1981, and features the legendary folk trio singing over twenty of their biggest hits, including “Puff the Magic Dragon,” “Blowin’ in the Wind,” as well as holiday standards such as “Silent Night” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.” Full screen. Dolby 2.0 stereo.
Cinema Libre releases EYE OF THE FUTURE: CLIMATE SOLUTIONS FOR THE PLANET, takes a look at five children of UN ambassadors around the world who take it upon themselves to reduce our carbon footprint. Engaging educational documentary should appeal in particular to grade schoolers, as they watch their contemporaries come up with innovative and tangible solutions to help the environment. Bonuses: Featurettes. Full screen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
Gonzo Multimedia releases a series of lectures from His Holiness The Dalai Lama: FACING DEATH AND DYING WELL, A PRACTICAL WAY OF DIRECTING LOVE & COMPASSION, INTERDEPENDENCE, INTERCONNECTEDNESS & THE NATURE OF REALITY, and CONTENTMENT, JOY & LIVING WELL. All are relevant, fascinating topics, but these discs all contain a major flaw: the quality of the audio is so poor, it’s difficult to hear what His Holiness is saying most of the time. Subtitles would have helped immensely. As is, they’re a better concept than they are an execution. Full screen. Dolby 1.0 mono.



FOR THE YOUNG ‘UNS Disney releases its modern classic THE LION KING in a Blu-ray/DVD combo pack as part of its Diamond Edition Collection. Voted the #1 Animated Film of All-Time by an ABC News/People Magazine poll, the timeless tale of Simba, the lion cub who cannot wait to be king of his pride of wild cats, searches for his destiny in the great “Circle of Life.” Eye-popping animation and an Academy Award-winning score make this one of the best of its kind. Terrific voice work from Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, Jeremy Irons, Rowan Atkinson, Whoopi Goldberg, and Cheech Marin. Bonuses: Deleted scenes; Bloopers; Deleted song; Extended scene; Featurettes; Interactive Blu-ray gallery. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 and DTS-HD 7.1 surround.
Scholastic releases two new sets in its Storybook Treasures series: CHRYSANTHEMUM…AND MORE WHIMSICAL STORIES offers 17 stories on 3 DVDs, with narrators such as Meryl Streep, Sarah Jessica Parker, Danny Glover, and others, reading stories such as “Rapunzel,” “Is Your Mama a Llama?” and others. MY FIRST COLLECTION VOL. 2 FEATURING SPOON, is another 3 disc set featuring 13 stories, such as “Hush Little Baby,” “Dem Bones,” and “That New Animal,” with narration by Mia Farrow, among others. Both feature interviews with stories’ authors; Spanish versions of stories; Read-alongs. Recommended for ages 2-6. Full screen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
Warner Bros. releases LEGO HERO FACTOR: SAVAGE PLANET, a fun animated adventure in which the Hero Factory must answer a distress call from the planet Quatros. Some terrific animation and voice work should ensure that the most discriminating kid in your household will get a kick out of this. Bonuses: Bonus episode. Widescreen. Dolby 5.1 surround.
SESAME STREET: ELMO’S SHAPE ADVENTURE, features Elmo giving lessons in recognizing shapes, counting and vocabulary. “SNL” star Andy Samberg guest stars in this three-part program that is packed with animation, songs, and film clips that explore math words. Full screen. Dolby 2.0 mono.
Paramount releases NICKELODEON MERRY CHRISTMAS!, featuring six holiday-themed episodes from Nick’s biggest hit shows: “Dora the Explorer: A Present for Santa,” “Blue’s Clues: Blue’s First Holiday,” “Go, Diego, Go! Diego Saves Christmas!” “Team Umizoomi: Santa’s Little Fixers,” “Wonder Pets! Save the Reindeer,” and “Ni-Hao, Kai-Lan: The Snowiest Ride.” Bonuses: Music video. Full screen. Dolby 2.0 stereo.

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